Monday, September 2, 2013

I Have Confidence

A view of our neighborhood in Pinedale, WY

As I write this, Darren and I have been residents of Pinedale, Wyoming for about two and a half weeks.  
My next post will be about all of the events and small miracles that have happened over the past six weeks to bring us here.  Pinedale is beautiful, and there are obvious advantages to living in such a rural area.  That doesn't mean it doesn't require some major adjustments, though.  While I love it here most of the time, and we have met some amazing people and seen some beautiful sights, there are times I have wanted to pack everything back into the car and drive for the nearest town with a Walmart (at least!).  People here have been incredibly kind, but I have heard several times about Pinedale's harsh winters that can last up to six months or more.  These conversations have made me just a little bit nervous (read: I have small panic attacks almost daily anticipating the approaching winter).  There have been a couple of things in the past 12 hours or so, though, that have really helped to build up my confidence.

First, late last night I rediscovered a blog I had initially found through my friend Stephanie Chaffee on Facebook.  The Prairie Homestead is a blog that outlines how to "cultivate old-fashioned skills in a modern world."  Gardening, living off of as many whole foods as possible, riding horses, and raising animals has always appealed to me, and for that reason I had visited the site a few times while still living in Arizona.  I revisited the site for the first time in a while last night and discovered that she lives in Wyoming and had a lot of great advice about living in this area!  I was/am so excited to read more about this blog and learn more about how to make this kind of life fun and productive for us (on a smaller scale than her homestead, though, of course ;).

Second, I took a walk this morning and was listening to some songs on shuffle.  As I was turning onto the side street to our home, a song from the soundtrack of one of my favorite movies came on: "I Have Confidence" from The Sound of Music.  I can't tell you the bounce this song put in my step.  I started rewriting some of the lyrics in my head to fit my current situation.  I know what you're thinking, "Kate, that is incredibly cheesy and a little embarrassing."  I know.  But it made me feel so much better.  I have included the lyrics I came up with below and a sound clip of the song from the movie to set the tune (you'll notice I didn't have to change very much, especially at first)!

What will this day be like? I wonder.
What will my future be? I wonder.
It could be so exciting to be out in the country and free
My heart should be wildly rejoicing
Oh, what's the matter with me?

I've always longed for adventure
To do the things I've never dared
Now here I'm facing adventure
Then why am I so scared?

Living in a very rural area
What's so fearsome about that?

Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries
If I don't I just know I'll go pack
I must dream of the things I am seeking
I am seeking the courage I lack

The courage to face really harsh winters
Face cooking on my own and getting splinters
I'll show them I'm worthy
And while I show them 
I'll show me

So, let them bring on all their problems
I'll do better than my best
I have confidence they'll put me to the test
But I'll make them see I have confidence in me

Somehow I will survive this
I will be creative and bold
And all those horses (Heaven bless them!)
I will get to ride them--if they mind me!

 With each step I am more certain
Everything will turn out fine
I have confidence this world can all be mine
They'll have to agree I have confidence in me

I have confidence in neighbors
I have confidence in planes
I have confidence that spring will come again
Besides which you see I have confidence in me

Strength doesn't lie in numbers ((Pinedale's population: about 2000!))
Strength doesn't lie in stores
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers
When you wake up -- Wake Up!

It tells me all I trust I lead my heart to
All I trust becomes my own
I have confidence in confidence alone
(Oh help!)

I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!
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